news for the gullible

A flash from Georgia. Two guys name of Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer claim to have a dead Bigfoot in a cooler in an undisclosed location (presumably not the same one as de facto Vice President Dick "Bigfoot Killer" Cheney). They say they are keeping the location quiet to protect Bigfoot, but supposedly they found the hairy guy in the Georgia woods.

In other top news: Space aliens have landed and taken over Paris Hilton's body. Nobody really noticed because their behavior was a close enough approximation of Hilton's.

China has announced that in celebration of its Olympics romp, it will give Tibet its independence.

That email you just received from the guy hiding out in Nigeria whose dad was the recently-deposed President of Mauritania is authentic - be sure to follow the instructions closely and you will make big bucks, for sure.

And I would like to announce that I am taking bids for the Brooklyn Bridge. Leave your name and address and I will get back to you.